Your Belief Is Blocking Your Financial Growth
Read time: 3.5 minutes || Read the online version here
Welcome to Mind Over Money, a weekly newsletter where I share actionable ideas to help you transform your relationship with money to build financial confidence and independence.
Today's topic: Money Identity Trap
The first time I stepped onto an airplane, I was six years old.
We were headed on a four-week family trip around Asia—Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong. I don’t remember much about the trip itself, but I do remember the feeling: wide-eyed wonder. Everything was new. Every meal, every street sign, every local custom felt like a secret waiting to be discovered.
That trip lit a fire in me. A hunger for adventure, for discovery, for shaking things up.
But then...life.
In my teens and twenties, that spark dimmed. Travel became something "I'll do when I have more time and money". I said I loved travel, but I wasn’t planning, prioritizing, or saving for it. It was just a “nice to have”—someday, maybe.
It took almost two decades before I booked another big trip. This time: solo. Destination: Africa.
Somewhere between planning that trip and returning from that 3-week adventure, something clicked.
I started talking about myself differently. I noticed I stopped saying “I love to travel,” and I started saying “I’m a traveler.”
That one shift—tiny in language, massive in meaning—changed who I became.
When you are something, your behavior follows suit. Travelers book trips. They figure things out. They get lost and laugh about it. They learn to pack light and always make room for the next adventure.
That revelation made me realize just how much our identity drives our actions—not just in travel, but in every part of life. Especially in money.
And it got me thinking: how often do we limit ourselves just because of the identities we haven’t claimed yet?
So many people say, "I’m just not good with money."
But that’s not a fact. That’s an identity we chose for ourselves.
And just like I unconsciously acted like a traveler the moment I claimed it, people unconsciously act like they’re bad with money once they believe it.
In today’s issue, we’re diving into how identity shapes behavior—and how claiming a new one might be the key to changing your financial life.
Let’s dig in.
The Identity Trap: "I'm Just Not a Money Person"
When we talk about money blocks, one of the most insidious is the identity-based narrative.
It sounds like:
- "I’ve never been good with numbers."
- "I’m a spender, not a saver."
- "Budgets make me feel trapped, so I just avoid them."
- "I messed up my credit in my 20s, and I’ve never recovered."
They may feel like facts—but they are really just beliefs we’ve repeated so often, they feel like truth. And beliefs shape behavior because when we cling to certain self-concepts, it hinders psychological flexibility and well-being.
When you believe you’re "bad with money," you’re less likely to:
- Learn new financial skills (because why bother?)
- Ask for help or take action (because it feels shameful)
- See progress as permanent (because you’re "just going to mess it up again")
This isn’t a character flaw—it’s psychology.
Neuroscience tells us our brains seek to confirm the identities we hold. So if you identify as someone who’s bad with money, you’ll unconsciously make decisions that reinforce that.
The good news is, identities can change.
How to Dismantle the "I'm Bad with Money" Identity and Build a New One
You don’t need a financial degree or a high credit score to shift your story. You just need small wins, reframed beliefs, and the right tools.
Here’s how to get started:
1. Replace Labels with Learning Language
Instead of saying “I’m bad with money,” try:
“I’m learning how to manage money in a way that works for me.”
Or:
“I didn’t learn this growing up—but I can learn it now.”
This language opens the door to growth instead of locking you into the past.
2. Create Skill-Building Milestones
Pick one concept to focus on each month—nothing huge. It could be:
- Understanding compound interest
- Comparing high-yield savings accounts
- Learning how credit scores work
Mastering small pieces creates confidence—and momentum.
Free resources like NerdWallet or Investopedia are great places to start.
3. Track the Emotional Wins, Not Just the Financial Ones
Let’s say you finally checked your credit report after avoiding it for two years.
That’s not just a to-do—it’s a step towards transformation.
Document these breakthroughs:
- "I reviewed my spending without spiraling."
- "I asked a question about my 401(k) instead of pretending I understood."
- "I set up an automatic transfer to savings—for the first time ever."
This helps rewire your brain to see yourself as someone capable and proactive.
4. Revisit and Reframe Past Mistakes
That maxed-out credit card in your 20s? It wasn’t proof that you’re "bad with money." It was proof that you didn’t have the tools—or maybe the support—you needed at the time.
Write out the financial missteps that still haunt you, and next to each one, jot down:
- What you learned
- What you’d do differently now
Because when you turn shame into strategy, it loses its power.
5. Build a New Money Identity
Think about the version of you who feels calm, confident, and in control with money.
Ask: What does she believe? What does she do? How does she talk about money?
Then, practice living as her—even in small ways.
Maybe it’s setting a money date each week, celebrating a financial win, or saying,
"I used to struggle with money, but I’m figuring it out."
You don’t have to fake it. You just have to practice it—until it feels true.
Final Thoughts
Your identity is not fixed. And your ability to manage money is not a genetic trait—it’s a learned skill.
No one is born knowing how to budget, invest, or build wealth. We learn. We stumble. We grow.
If you’ve been carrying the "I’m bad with money" label for years, I want you to hear this:
It’s not the truth—it’s just a story. And you get to write a new one, starting now.
p.s. This is the last of an email series about 5 common emotional money blocks. In case you missed it, here are the previous four: