Why Money Should Be Used as a Tool
Read time: 3 minutes
Welcome to Mind Over Money, a weekly newsletter where I provide actionable ideas to help you transform your relationship with money to build financial confidence and independence.
Today's topic: How to spend meaningfully
They saved early, bought a house at 28, skipped the fun, and followed all the financial advice.
Then life threw them a curveball no retirement calculator could have predicted.
I came across this story recently, and it stopped me in my tracks:
A woman and her husband did everything “right” with money. They worked hard, saved diligently through their 20s and 30s, invested wisely, and raised two children. They lived modestly, choosing ramen over restaurants, staycations over airfare, and putting off joy with the promise of “someday.”
Then, at 41, her husband was diagnosed with a progressive neurological disorder. His mobility may soon be limited.
“We did everything right… but now we’re wondering if we got it all wrong.”
She cried thinking about all the moments they skipped, the trips they postponed, the dinners they declined. Those sacrifices now feel like echoes of missed life—not just saved expenses.
This isn’t just a sad story. It’s a wake-up call.
Because beneath this story is a very human truth: our brains are wired to prioritize safety over satisfaction—and that can lead us to undervalue joyful, meaningful experiences until it’s too late.
Psychologically, this comes down to loss aversion and hyperbolic discounting. We fear financial instability more than we crave joy, and we tend to overvalue future rewards at the expense of present-day fulfillment. It’s no wonder many of us follow a financial script that tells us to delay joy for decades.
But here's the catch: the future doesn’t always unfold as planned. And money is a tool—not just for security, but for living a life that matters.
Why: Saving Is Smart—But It's Not the Whole Picture
I talk a lot about budgeting, saving, and investing. Those things matter deeply.
But so does living.
Many people I coach struggle with guilt over spending on themselves. They’ve absorbed the idea that WANTS are frivolous or that joyful spending is somehow irresponsible. But let’s flip that script:
- The backyard upgrade that allows your family to gather more often?
- The vacation that creates core memories for your kids?
- The pottery class that reminds you who you are beyond your job?
Those aren’t distractions. They’re reasons that fuel your living.
Financial regret doesn’t always come from overspending. Increasingly, it stems from underliving.
How: Building a Values-Aligned Life
If you struggle to spend, here are 4 ways to start shifting your financial habits from rigid to intentional—so you can build both security and satisfaction:
1. Audit Your Joy Budget
Look back at your last month of spending. Highlight the expenses that brought you genuine joy or meaning. Then ask yourself: Did I give myself permission to enjoy—or just survive?
If your “joy budget” is $0, that’s a red flag.
2. Reframe WANTS as Aligned Investments
Instead of labeling everything simply as a “want,” ask: Does this support my values?
If travel strengthens your relationships, or that gym membership supports your health goals, it’s not a frivolous splurge—it’s values-aligned spending.
If they don't support your values, then decrease or stop spending on them altogether.
3. Set Up a Mini “Values Fund”
Create a separate savings bucket for joy-based, intentional spending. Even $50/month toward a future memory can feel empowering. Label it something personal—like “Freedom Fund” or “Family Adventures.”
4. Practice the 3-Part Check-In
Before making a financial decision, ask:
- What are my current priorities?
- Which value does this decision support?
- Is my choice in alignment with the life I want to live and build?
These questions don’t just lead to smarter decisions. They build clarity and confidence so that you stop second-guessing and start living more fully.
Final Thought
Saving is wise. Security is essential. But so is living a life that reflects your values—not just your fears.
You don’t need permission to enjoy your money.
You just need a plan that includes you in the equation.
Reader's Question
Every week, I answer a reader's questions about personal finance on LinkedIn. This week's question: “What is one non-personal financial advice that can significantly impact our financial lives?”
My answer: Freeze your credit.
Recent News You Can Use:
- If you have outstanding student loans, you may want to read up on what impact the legislation that just passed the House of Representation will have on your repayment. Forbes breaks it down here.
- Did you know that the biggest retirement worry for Gen X isn't money? According to a survey conducted by Retirement Coaches Association, the biggest financial worry for soon to be retired Gen X is healthcare costs—as much as $33K a year. Unfortunately, it's on a trajectory that will continue to grow over time.
